Today is David’s birthday, and he would have been 55.  What would it be like to see him at 55?  I can only see him in my mind’s eye when he was in his 40s.

A lot has happened that hasn’t been updated here.  DeDe’s mom has passed away, DeDe’s dad has passed away, my mom has passed away, David/DeDe/Luke/Ryan’s dog, Critter, has passed away.  All rites of passage, very sad, and life changing.

DeDe’s mom, Linda, was very special to me.  I could tell her anything.  She was like a second mom.  She would never judge, always say something appropriate and comforting.  Always seeing the happy side of anything difficult.

Linda had three short stores: Tom the Turkey, Grumpy the Goldminer, Marissa the Troll.  Her granddaughter Bailey might illustrate them.  I had a note about Narios Tails from her, if anybody remembers what that means.

DeDe’s dad, Andy, was a big teddy bear, ran the grill on 4th of July, loved cooking sweetbreads at a cookout, and was very dedicated to his family and grandkids.  Ryan looked a lot like him and took after him.  Ryan was smart and witty.

My mom was ever loving, ever accepting and never stopped advocating for her kids.  My dad and I were joking the other day that she’s probably bending God’s ear right now to get him to do something for us.

Critter lived a good life with my dad.  He liked to follow dad around the house to see what he’s doing.  They went on daily walks.  Critter was loving and a big dog.  I remember my daughter threw a chew toy over the large dining room table and critter easily went OVER the table to get it.

That’s about all.  I understand more about David now.  It’s private.  I understand more about myself now too.  I studied Greek philosophers in college.  Socrates said to ‘know thyself.’  Ok, now I’m a little closer.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to accept the death of the family.  It’s hard to process.  Especially the young lives cut short.  Hardest is the things that were set aside for them.  Photos.  Invaluable memories.  Things that should be kept, and passed down to their generations.  Linda and the family dealt with the items as much as they could.  There was a house full of things.  As far as future generations, there are no direct descendants to pass these things to.  It’s extremely odd and sad.

Love,

John

For three years they have been out of my sight, but as I sit here thinking about them and am missing them so! I feel their love around me everywhere I go! In listening in the quiet of the night and I can hear them whispering to me their love as they say goodnight. When the sun shines down upon me I can feel their arms that warm me as they hold me oh so tight and the memories of times we’ve shared like a movie start to play and I am once again swept into loving play! This year I am healing not only from the loss, but my repairing of my body has me moving extra slow but I know that they are with me encouraging me so!

To move ahead but for now take it slow and remind me they are with me wherever I may go! The messages from Heaven are coming through so loud and clear and all I have to do is open up my Heart and Mind and let those messages in!So for all of you who wonder how I am doing and how I face this day, I hope I’ve answered your many questions and you can feel some Peace as I share with you this love they share and the strength I feel in knowing they are near! I am off to bed now with a heart overflowing and yes it is still hurting a great deal but each day that comes and each day that ends bring MEMORIES that I know will never end! I will love them forever and now believe they are not really gone! Mom & nana’s Love Forever!

Please support the shop and think of them when you need instruction, travel, equipment or tank fills.  Here is a link to the web site: Santa Cruz Scuba Diving.  The new owners are Charlie and Jayme Cooper.  Stop by to say hi!

Here it is the 20th of December and I am spending the evening here at the blog, re-reading the special messages so many have left here over the last year and a half. Messages have stopped and maybe no one is reading the blog these days, but I feel a closeness just being here and sharing.
A few weeks ago as I was driving to my son Mitch’s to take my Christmas card picture with Bailey and Grant I was thinking about the many pictures I have from so many years (16 in all). I was thinking how when I started this annual tradition it would be something I could leave for my four precious grandchildren to remember me by and hopefully think and remember the times we shared. I never thought two would be gone and be real angels watching over me from above. As I was driving I looked at the clouds inthe sky, which I have always enjoyed and find peace while watching. All of a sudden as clear as could be was a staircase oin the clouds. I was so astounded I blinked and looked again, then I gave thanks for the message I received that they are only a few steps away from me and a reminder that one day I will walk those stairs and be with them all again.

A week later as I was in Sacramento again I was once again looking into the sky (yes I was driving and yes I was paying attention just peeking) and well if I had been pulled over and received a ticket for gazing distraction, I would have accepted the ticket and moved on continue my peeking. On that day there right in my view was the most beautiful cloud in the shape of a huge heart. Up in the left top curve was a perfect letter “k”, it took me a few minutes but I finally decided it was a message reminding me of their love and the “k” could be them telling me they are ok!

Christmas again without them here, and opening to the memories I hold so dear is painful and sad and yet when I look around me it is easy to believe that these messages I am receiving are from them and the comfort I find is so magnificient it is hard to put to words. Much has changed in all of our lives, children (well I guess us too) are getting older, we get caught up in our earthly lives, many are fearing 12/21/12 and some are finding humor in the fearful believers. Each of us wondering what the New Year will bring! Well for me I guess living in “this” moment and making the most of it is my comfort blanket that warms my body and my spirit. As each of you read this and are pondering your thoughts of David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan, just remember they are near and sharing each day with each of us no matter where we are or what we are doing. God and his wonderful gifts connect us and keep us connected if we just tune in. May you each be filled with Peace, Love, Joy and the loving Spirit of Christmas and each new day! Thinking of you all!

Loving hugs! Linda, Mom and Nana forever

They really loved my daughter and I’m glad they had a chance to meet her.  It will be hard as my daughter grows up and I would want to share her special moments with them.  Ryan in particular loved babies and he loved my daughter.  He got to feed her when she was a month old.  He commented that she was “sooo cute.”

Today I edited a video they shot on May 29, 2011.  It was a day trip they made to Death Valley where they climbed the sand dunes and then tumbled down.  It helps me remember what fun people they were.  In the video you can hear DeDe saying to David, “Hi my love!” and he responds, “Hi Sweet Pea!”  You can discern the love they had for each other by the tone of their voice.  You can also see David’s genuine, enthusiastic smile.

To watch the video, you need QuickTime installed.  The HD version might take a while to download.

Click here to watch in high definition.
Click here to watch in standard definition.

David can be heard barking like a seal as he loved to do.  Luke had found a fire hat and you could see that he was enjoying himself as he tumbled down the dunes.  DeDe isn’t in the video because she was shooting, but you can hear her sweet voice.  Near the end of the video you can see Ryan run up on David and Luke and it looks like David is pointing out rock formations.  Ryan gave his dad a hug from behind.  At the very end, DeDe comments, “You can’t go far without a geology lesson.”

Tomorrow will be a hard day.  There are no events that I know of and that’s fine with me.  I don’t want to plan anything because running the event keeps me from thinking of them.  Tomorrow I’ll be in Santa Cruz and I want to think of them.

I think this blog site for my brother’s family should have it’s own special spot, so I’ll register a new URL and migrate the blog.  Don’t worry, I’ll put a forwarding link so you can get there from here.

Thanks for letting me share.  In writing this, I feel like I got in touch with my feelings and I got to relive memories of them.  Please share your comments below.

A random photo of Ryan taking a bath.

A classic quote from David.

June 15, 2012 is the 1 year anniversary of the last times I shared with David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan. This week has been very difficult emotionally for me as I relive the moments of that last visit. We all shared dinner together the night of the 13th and that was wonderful as many times when I visited DeDe and David were working late and ate on the run, so to be able to all sit and share this time was so nice and ever so precious now as I remember and it being our last dinner together! On Friday DeDe was able to get away for a few hours and so we took Luke and Ryan to the Boardwalk and they got their season passes for the year that day.

They each took a friend with them and the four boys had a great time riding the rides and having so much fun. It gave DeDe and I time together as we watched them and waited between the rides. We shared a oriental chicken salad wrap at the boardwalk and it was delicious! ( I will make that a special meal when ever I can when visiting the boardwalk. ) That night as they decided who would sleep with Nana (they rotated nights but I think Luke was soon growing to old to sleep with Nana), Ryan was the one and he asked me to tell him a story which was one of his favorites ” The Diamond Eye Fish”, which I made up as I told it.

Ryan had a birthday party to go to so Luke and I decided that we would go garage sale shopping (a activity we all always enjoyed together for many years), and Luke found his turntable and some really neat old records (classical). I understand that he played them a week later with Uncle John and Gpa Edward on Father’s Day and they had to name the song and the artist! WE also got a couple of succulent plants for Ryan as he was really getting into plants and Bonsai trees! I had to leave that afternoon for a wedding. I would have loved to have stayed and had I known what a difference in all of our lives was about to happen I would have.

On that visit the boys and I went downtown to the silver store and they picked out a toe ring for me, they both decided on the same one that had waves on it which reminded all of us of the ocean and their fun times in the water. I lost the ring at the wedding and was very upset and looked very hard for it. I was blessed in finding a ring exactly like it after the accident and I bought it and wear it on my little finger on my left hand and as I look at it I remember the fun we had that day and am reminded of the love they had for me and me for them.

I have been so blessed and am so greatful, even with a heavy heart and some sad tears as I remember and feel the loss so heavily. I continue to feel their presence with me and am actively waiting for each touching, I know they feel my love and I believe they are happy where they are but feel a sadness and such strong love for all of us that miss them so very much and are always remembering them. Love I send to Heaven and Love I send to all that are remembering with me these four wonderful Houghtons! Forever Mom * Nana

“I wanted to share this photo with you. In celebrating Ryan’s birthday I made this “card” and we attached a necklace from the Dominican Republic….we knew how he loved his necklaces!

We went to the bench on Friday morning and wiped down the bench and attached the card. Ron and I sat there for about 30 minutes and talked about and remembered Ryan. It was a beautiful sunny day and the ocean was sparkling like a sea of diamonds. Off in a distance the sea lions were making a lot of there “talking” noises. We think of them all so often and miss them so much.”

We miss them too and not a day or night goes by when I don’t think about them.  I still remind myself about the tragedy even as I’m dreaming and I immediately wake up hoping that it was all a dream.

A poem by Wayne (Woody) Kenney, David’s SCUBA instructor.

Grey skies reflecting sorrow off wind blown waves.
A Family lost, remembered in the breeze.
Of sunny days below Egypt’s Red Sea.
Glowing sands down Mexico way.
Smiling, happy faces of those Four,
Our hearts will ever endure. Blue skies, fly away.
Loving Life, always adore.

Peace, IMWood

Left, Ryan on the day he was born.

March 2, 2001, found the Houghton family of three heading to the birthing center in Santa Cruz to welcome Ryan David.  I remember I was driving from Sacramento and it was 4:30 am and I was hoping I would get there before he made his entry to this world.  Well, he arrived just moments before me (think I was parking the car).  When I entered the room everyone was beaming and Luke was chattering nonstop about his new brother.  Our little man with his green eyes brought joy to our hearts that day and everyday of his life thereafter.  

Left, Ryan as Michael Jackson.

In his 10 1/2 years he shared so much, I especially loved the cuddling hugs and sweet I love you messages he always offerred.  The many nights we layed in bed me telling him and Luke stories that usually were made up as I went along, and an occassional laugh from them if I dozed off.  He was a practical joker and loved playing pranks or tricks and his laughter and sparkle in his eyes always made these moments memorable.  He was great at Knock Knock jokes, or some that he just made up, he loved sneaking up and startling me.

I remember when I showed him how to make fried cheese and DeDe thought that was not so healthy, and his reply was “we cooked the fats out of it”!  They loved cooking and baking and I loved sharing the time with them!  Ryan loved his big brother and shared well with him, oh yeah they had their moments but hands down they were always there for each other.  He travelled to many foreign lands and played with children there, whether it was soccer or tag they mixed well.  He always stood out with that very blonde hair, those sparkling eyes and that joyful laugh.  I am so thankful that I was there when he proudly received his white belt in Kung Fu, he moved so smooth and sure of every move.

Left.  Ryan buried in the sand with Luke and the family.

He loved the beach and the Boardwalk, and we shared many hours there playing and riding the rides, then we would go look at our pictures which were always funny!  He thought it was really funny when someone (not him) got drenched on the log ride. We shared squid and especially enjoyed the “fried spiders” and Ryan loved clam chowder in a bread bowl.  The Christmas that Ryan won the Disney Million Dream at Disneyland was a once in a lifetime experience that he shared with not only he parents and Luke, but his Uncle Mitch, Aunt Cheri, cousins Grant and Bailey and Nana. He was the Honary Grand Marshall of the parade and the entire family led the parade in Walt Disney’s old fire truck.  I still see the kids standing in front of a mirror in the Mickey Mouse Penthouse as they talked with and joked with Mickey. We spent one night there and could not believe how many televisions there were, even one in the bathroom mirror.  Ryan was blessed with a life full of excitement and travels, and he was a very appreciative and thankful boy.  He was a good friend and loved sharing his time and toys with his many close buddies.

His most recent accomplishment was getting certified as a scuba diver in Bonaire just weeks before the plane accident.  Yes, the love and precious moments shared with you our Ryan will provide me with the strength and courage I need to continue with my life living much of it in the memories of the special times we shared.  Thank you my wonderful young grandson, I am so very proud of you and who you have been in this wonderful world.  I will always celebrate March 2nd with you and share with you in my memories of birthdays shared until we again are together one day!  I know your day will be celebrated with many family and friends in heaven, and hope you know you are being remembered by many here.  Hugs and Love forever, Nana

The bench overlooks Cowell’s beach and is located at the parking lot near the entrance of the Wharf.  For those that need an exact address, I think this will put you within 100 feet if you use Google maps: 49B Municipal Wharf, Santa Cruz, CA.

The beach is special because the family has a lot of memories from here.  Day On The Beach with the Handicapped Scuba Association took place at Cowell’s Beach.

David and I used to surf there a lot when we were young teenagers.  The picture to the left is David when he was about 15 and it is shot against the foundation pillars of the Dream Inn hotel at Cowell’s beach.  We used to spend time sun tanning there and he would practice his maneuvers for tandem surfing.

Not far from there, David and I worked at the Boardwalk.  He was a ride operator and had a lot of fun with his co-workers.  They played a lot of jokes and they shot each other with whipping cream.  He was a popular guy.

If anybody has any stories about the family and the significance of Cowell’s beach, please leave a comment below.