It’s been hard to write in the last six months. I really don’t have the words, but I felt like I needed to write something today, given that it will be a year tomorrow since they passed. I’m still processing the reality of what has happened. They were always away on so many trips all the time that it seems like they might still be on a long trip. Intellectually, I know what happened. I’m starting to come to an emotional understanding that they’re not coming back. I was just talking to someone who commented that “their lives are over” and hearing it like that makes it sink in a little more.
They really loved my daughter and I’m glad they had a chance to meet her. It will be hard as my daughter grows up and I would want to share her special moments with them. Ryan in particular loved babies and he loved my daughter. He got to feed her when she was a month old. He commented that she was “sooo cute.”
Today I edited a video they shot on May 29, 2011. It was a day trip they made to Death Valley where they climbed the sand dunes and then tumbled down. It helps me remember what fun people they were. In the video you can hear DeDe saying to David, “Hi my love!” and he responds, “Hi Sweet Pea!” You can discern the love they had for each other by the tone of their voice. You can also see David’s genuine, enthusiastic smile.
To watch the video, you need QuickTime installed. The HD version might take a while to download.
Click here to watch in high definition.
Click here to watch in standard definition.
David can be heard barking like a seal as he loved to do. Luke had found a fire hat and you could see that he was enjoying himself as he tumbled down the dunes. DeDe isn’t in the video because she was shooting, but you can hear her sweet voice. Near the end of the video you can see Ryan run up on David and Luke and it looks like David is pointing out rock formations. Ryan gave his dad a hug from behind. At the very end, DeDe comments, “You can’t go far without a geology lesson.”
Tomorrow will be a hard day. There are no events that I know of and that’s fine with me. I don’t want to plan anything because running the event keeps me from thinking of them. Tomorrow I’ll be in Santa Cruz and I want to think of them.
I think this blog site for my brother’s family should have it’s own special spot, so I’ll register a new URL and migrate the blog. Don’t worry, I’ll put a forwarding link so you can get there from here.
Thanks for letting me share. In writing this, I feel like I got in touch with my feelings and I got to relive memories of them. Please share your comments below.
A random photo of Ryan taking a bath.
A classic quote from David.
We have been blessed to walk this journey with you. While I can’t say I enjoyed reading this post (can one enjoy weeping?), I appreciate your honesty, and your willingness to share your innermost feelings.
Personally, I have been forced to question whether there’s an underlying design to the tragedies, such as this one, that we face. I’d like to think that there is a design…and continually search for the pattern…the meaning…the lesson…the value. Isn’t that the sum of “being human”?
I will be thinking of you tomorrow…and every day (as I have since that decidedly horrible day last year). I carry you in my heart…up here in the Santa Cruz mountains, under the trees.
Even after a year of missing you Four Houghton’s, the memories haven’t ceased to come in on a regular basis. I feel your thoughts and energy at times, always when good things are happening. I miss your presence at family get together’s. Again David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan… Thank you for every moment you were here spreading the Goodness. ~ <3 ~ Aunt Dona
Appreciate seeing this clip again. (Sand dunes). Like the others here, I’m finding it hard to believe it’s been a year. I hear David \barking\ and remember the first time I heard him, here in our yard. DeDe had to tell me he was calling the kids — hadn’t gone off the deep end. They were always so happy and so much fun. Like John, I still have moments when I consider them on another of their trips — this one a little longer. I’ll help my 2nd great-grand-daughter celebrate her 5th birthday tomorrow — remembering that I DIDN’T help celebrate it last year — and actually, not remembering her birthday at all! In time I’ll be able to celebrate her day with their day and without conflict — the happiest memories around all of their lives diminishing the pain. My heart goes out to all — –
John
Often I have thought of Dave and DeeDee over the past year as well. Although we had drifted away from each other during the years and the changes that years bring I always remember the times we spent with first Dave then DeeDee fondly. I am proud to say I saw them as they first met and saw the love they had for each other bloom and blossom. The life they lived is a lesson to us all and I try to remember this every day.
Sadly time does not always heal as well as we would like. My deepest sympathies to your family on this sad anniverary.
Dave, DeDe, Luke and Ryan, and all of the Houghton/Anderson family have really been in my thoughts these last few weeks as this anniversary approaches. It is hard to believe it has been a year. I continue to think of all the lessons they left for me: live life fully, be generous to others, laugh and love deeply, cherish your family, and let’s go diving! I miss their presence. My red bracelet is a daily reminder of their legacy, and a challenge to be more like them. Sending much love and prayers for continued healing to all of you.
Dear John,
Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful memories. I often think of you, and the love you have for David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan, a feeling that is enduring and that will always unite you and your loved ones forever. You have been an inspiration to me, and I only wish to build such enduring relationships with others….my most sincere sympathies to you and all those who love your dear brother and his family…
Thanks soooooo very much for sharing
As I was reading, “May It Be” ,by Celtic Woman started playing.
Syncronicity!
XO,
Mary-Margaret
When the flames of a given life or lives, in this case, burned so brightly, it is so much harder to bear the absence of their glow. I remember the David Houghton family as a torch of exuberance, of sheer joy, in the face of adventure upon this earth. Tomorrow marks a year since their tragic EARTHLY departure. I envision their legacy as a nova in the heavens…one that awaits us folks on earth, the willing and ever ready, to join them in the next adventure. I myself am not quite ready to join them, but, when the time comes, they will be waiting for me with open arms.
I have been I guess dreading this day and awoke this morning with heaviness in my heart! It was not much different than the feeling I have had almost daily for the last year! But as I layed there in my bed remembering not just 7/7/2011 but the many years before I was reminded of the pressure in my chest so many times when my heart was so full of love and excitement! It might have been on their wedding day when the tears of joy touched my eyes and cheeks as I witnessed their promises to each other, it might have been the day Luke came into the world, or it might have been with the joy as Ryan came to make them four! It might have been when I was waking up on a once in a lifetime trip with them to some exciting part of the world I would not have visited had it not been for them. It might have been when David expressed his pride in me as I kept up with the group while on the 6 mile (?) trek in Thailand. As I watched Luke fencing and so proud of his accomplishment, or being there when Ryan got his White belt in martial arts. It may have been the joy I felt as Luke and Ryan ran into my arms as I tried to surprise them on a visit, the love they showered on me whenever I was with them. It might have been when they let me share the many blessing of their lives! The times I have spent in their home since they left us and all of their worldly possessions behind, as I touched these items and imagined how they found the special place in their home. I did not want to part with anything they had touched, clothes, toys, dishes they ate from, and oh the pictures! I seemed to think I could hold on to them by holding on to the “THINGS” that had been apart of them and their lives together. As I go through the years and my memories I will be thankful for all of the Blessings and do not want to forget the last blessing they left me with and that is the world of new friends that have reached out to me, to insure I still get my hugs and feel the love as they share with me. So as today is and always will be a reminder of a very sad day, it will also serve as a reminder to a time of living in a world without them and knowing they are all always with me! Love and blessings to you all that read these words and express your own heart felt messages , and know that each serves as a comfort and loving connection to four lives lived and never really lost! Lovingly, Linda* Nana* Mom and friend
Its been a year but we have not forgotten how special and dear to our hearts David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan were to all of us. I still miss them all the time.
Yellow Roses, Blue Dragonflies, the Bark of a Seal, and the Rarely Seen but Magical Sea Horse are only a few things that help keep their memory alive for me. It is not much but better than nothing at all. I loved each one and always will. Life is not the same without them and neither am and so I strive to keep their voices alive in my head, their smiles and laughter in my heart, and their enormous love and caring a part of who I strive to be. My love to you all their family and friends.
With tears I read your messages and again miss my roomie, DeDe, and the rest of the Houghtons. I think of them often, think of things I want to share with them, and then remember they are gone–but not their memory. We will always have them in our hearts.
Today is that day, the one that last year changed my life into that which came before and that which came after. Such emptiness only says how big and meaningful their presence in our lives. May the memories live on in all of us.
I too have anticipated this day for a long time. I keep thinking of the small things we shared. I appreciate hearing the stories from other people and realizing we all had a special connection with the four of them. I can remember every one of their big smiles and times that we laughed together. I miss them all but I try to focus on the smiles.
John,
Thank you for sharing the video. I loved hearing and seeing them again.
I have been anticipating the anniversary for some time…even of each day leading up to the 7th of last year. Like being in traffic on the 4th trying to see fireworks in Scotts Valley or taking a picture of a stunning sunflower on the 6th. All mundane things that happened around that time somehow become more memorable because they we’re from a time they were still with us…
For us, every 7/7 will cause us to miss them even more but remind us how lucky we were to have known them.
David, Sally, Ben and Mia Ghilarducci
I think of them still nearly every day… they continue to inspire me with their love of life, curiosity, generosity, intelligence and wonder. I can’t imagine the depth of grief felt by you and Linda, and everyone else who loved and knew them so well. I hope it brings you comfort knowing their spirits continue to shine… they leave a legacy of light that will never diminish.