Post by Linda Anderson, DeDe’s mother.
It is nearly 4 am on August 7, 2011 and I cannot sleep and keep feeling DeDe’s presence, the house is creaking and I keep expecting the microwave oven to start. I have been laying in her bed thinking about her and the many requests I have had from friends wanting to hear more about DeDe at a younger age. So many memories have been racing through my mind all at once, so I decided to get up and start at the beginning. Unfortunately I don’t have any pictures with me at this time, but will look for ones to match the stories when I go home and add them later.
It was 7:10 pm on April 4, 1967, I was in Fort Ord Military hospital (the old hospital) and had just given birth to a beautiful little girl. She weighed 7 lbs. 2 oz. and was 20 inches long. She was born like most babies with very blue eyes, but hers were so dark we knew she would soon have brown eyes like mine. At that time fathers could be in the labor room but absolutely not allowed in the delivery rooms. I remember when Andy came into the room after she was in the nursery and he said she was perfect in every way. She had the perfectly round head (like Ryan but smaller) and some hair, though dark. Her big brother Mitch was 2 1/2 years old and in the 60′s Batman was a big television star and one of his favorite programs. He would run through the house pretending to fly while yelling Diddle, Diddle, Diddle, Diddle….Batman. On the 5th when his little sister was barely one day old Andy brought him to the nursery (he could not see me), they were standing outside the nursery window meeting for the first time his sister through the glass. Another young father came in and was quietly viewing his newborn baby and Mitch turned and said to him, “No! that’s my Diddle De”! The man smiled and thought that was a pretty proud brother. He remained a very proud brother forever; early on looking out for her and she could do no wrong, until she reached the age where she could take his toys. At first her gave over anything she wanted, then when she hit the twos he started claiming his rights.
DeDe started running just before she turned one year old. She took very few unstable first steps (and she has been going every since). Around her first birthday a neighbor friend gave us a bag of girlie dresses. DeDe put on quite a fashion show for her Daddy that night, and she loved clothes. Her first trip to Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk was around that same time and somewhere I have a picture of her at a photo shot place on a wooden form of a carosel horse. Mitch was by a wooden form that made him look like he’d just caught a very big fish!
DeDe was a very happy bright eyed and smiling little girl from the very beginning. She used to wake up when her Daddy would get up (he was in the Army) about 5:30 am and she would play in her crib while he would pop in and talk to her while getting ready for work. I could hear her giggling but as soon as he kissed her goodbye and walked out the door, her giggles turned to a cry telling me it was time to get up! She always knew just how to get her way and because she had a big brother who would talk for her, she was adapt at using her eyes and his words to get just about anything. It was amazing how he knew everything she was saying and wanting. She completed our perfect family and we were all so proud of her!
I apologize for not sharing these stories earlier and hope that people are still reading the blogs and I thank you for making this request of me. Starting over and remembering the baby girl she was is a great way to start out telling more stories about her and her life. With love always to my special baby girl! Mom
What a wonderful story Linda. She was so observant and I loved how she was so good at understanding what kids who couldn’t use their words yet were trying to tell us. After reading your story her empathy and attention to detail makes more sense – she knew exactly what it was like to be itching to communicate and not having the words ready. I recall my son having a “terrible two” fit at their house. I was flummoxed and exasperated, but DeDe had noticed what he’d been doing (while still chatting with me) and calmly spoke with him to reason out what he wanted – which turned out to be a toy he’d played with then forgotten about until Luke or Ryan picked it up. Just that little bit of discussion and attention from her calmed him down right away. There wasn’t much that escaped her attention! I love reading the stories of her as a girl, and before she met Dave. I’ve only heard a few from her and look forward to learning more.
Hugs,
Lucia
I too really enjoy these stories. I have only known the family for a few years but these stories bring me closer to a family I love. Please continue to share with the community on this blog. We are here for you.
I’m happy to see you committing to paper Lin. Everyone will enjoy seeing DeDe, (and maybe later, thoughts on David, Luke and Ryan), through Mom and Grandma’s eyes. My heart will ache for you for a very long time, but I know through stories – repeated and then repeated again – their legacy continues. Keep writing. Love you.
Linda, I just wanted to add that I love these stories too! I hope you get a chance to add more about DeDe’s childhood years.
I have been waiting to get some early pictures of DeDe to John before writing anymore blogs, but assure you that I will be adding some soon. Not a day goes by (even very few minutes) that I don’t think of DeDe, David and the boys. This morning I just did not want to get out of bed and I just needed some hugs and cuddles. I put my arms around me and then I thought of each of them and I swear there was a calm that came over me and it has stayed with me. Yes I still cry much over the great loss, but I am finding tears of joy are coming more often now and as Catherine and I have been sorting through all of their “space” in this world, their home. Pictures, art work from the boys, lots of paperwork, even the food in the cabinets. Their home tells a story about their time shared here, the many projects, the play areas, their many movies they shared. The kitchen, where DeDe and the boys enjoyed baking brownies, cookies or Ryan’s crazy Nachos, etc. No matter where you walk you experience a special memory of the times and the different moments they shared. This weekend Claire, Arthur and I made Brownies which was such a delight for all of us and yes they were yummy. We sat in the hot tub and shared stories as they splashed and tried to swim. Yesterday, Catherine, Claire, Arthur and I took a little time off and went to the Boardwalk (where we were allowed to transfer the boys season passes to Claire and Arthur), and as they rode rides we talked about how much Luke and Ryan enjoyed the different rides. All these moments serve as reminders to us of our four no longer here, and yes sad but also so cherished and can be brought back in just a moment in our thoughts. They will always be loved and remembered by us all! And I am learning each day what grieving and healing are about. I am happy to know that the blogs are helping so many. They are special to me too!