This post was updated Wed, 7/27 at 8:43am. The Sentinel incorrectly printed that the date is tomorrow. It’s today. Viewing location is West Cliff Lighthouse Point (Surfing Museum/Steamers Lane). Also, today is Luke’s birthday, please see posts below. It is with a heavy heart that I inform you we will be scattering ashes for David, DeDe, Luke and Ryan Houghton this Wednesday, July 27 at around 10:45-11:15am. The owners of the Chardonnay II were good friends of the family, and have very graciously donated their boat for this occasion. We really appreciate this. Only family will be on the boat. The family has been talking for a while about this and we have collectively decided that since the family had so many friends, those who have the means (boat, kayak, etc) and the skill (be safe) are welcome to join us on the water if you keep a distance of at least 50 yards. Boats – try not to block the view from people on shore. The plan is to scatter the ashes off of lighthouse point in Santa Cruz – we’ll be 500 yards out. You can alternatively watch from lighthouse point (on West Cliff Drive). I believe there will a person there with a hand held marine radio – feel free to bring yours. We will provide updates from the boat to let you know when the ashes are scattered. Monitor channel 68. If someone could send me a shot of the event early this afternoon so I can do a blog update, that would help (send to john at johnhoughton dot com).
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Thanks again, John and Linda for sharing all of your beautiful memories and photos, and for honoring us with your sadness and grief. It is too huge to bear alone. I, too, have had dreams of Dede and the boys. In one dream we were at a park. Dede and I were doing one of the million things that moms do on outings to make sure everything was ready, but in my dream, they were all so real. I miss Dede’s smile and here sweet forgiving phrase “no worries!” that she would say whenever things didn’t go exactly as planned. I miss David’s constancy and generous smiles and hugs.
I feel them in so many of our daily activities. I see Ryan coming to music class wearing his rash guard. I see Luke reading at recess and hear his queries, always wanting more.
The day before the memorial, I plunged into a cold mountain lake, something not characteristic of me, in honor of Dede. Linus got up on water skis for the first time that day. Today, I put on my wetsuit and romped in the waves boogie boarding with Dominic and Linus, something I have not done for years, again, in honor of our ocean loving family. I intend to do it more.
Dominic and Linus and I will be at the lighthouse on Wednesday. We’ll be sending our love and embracing you all.
Dear John, Linda, and surviving family, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I too am a bereaved parent, and understand the shock and raw pain you are experiencing now. When you are ready – and it may be months, or even years – I encourage you to seek out a support group of other bereaved parents, grandparents & siblings. Some people start with a Hospice group, as they are more structured and usually led by a counselor. Mutual-support self-help groups such as The Compassionate Friends and BPUSA can provide long-term support as you learn to integrate this unique grief into your lives, and the people around you move on with their own lives at a speed that can be mystifying from your own perspective of an utterly changed worldview.
We have a TCF chapter here in Santa Cruz; contact info is available via the chapter locator on the The Compassionate Friends website, easily googled.
Wishing you restful sleep and sweet dreams of your loved ones,
Anne