Helping Babies Get a Good Start

Post by Lucia Orlando (right), a close friend of the Houghton family, shown with DeDe Houghton (left) at Sutter Hospital.

I met Dave and DeDe in 1991 when I started dating my husband Darryl Quan.  Darryl’s known Dave since they were student firefighters at UCSC.

It’s hard to believe that it was only 10 years ago on June 20th 2001, that DeDe helped us bring our son Elio into the world. DeDe and I were pregnant at the same time as three mutual friends who had babies within six months of each other.  We had a wonderful support group and DeDe was the our best resource, since she was ahead of all of us with Ryan’s due date in March, and knew what to expect having gone through it before with Luke.

With my due date approaching, and no way to back out, I started to get anxious about all the things that could go wrong. Darryl and my twin sister Luisa, both certified EMT’s were already on board, but they had only delivered plastic babies.  I saw how wonderfully DeDe did when both boys were born, and how confidently she interacted with the Sutter hospital staff through her work with Nursing Mothers Counsel.  It seemed only natural to ask DeDe to be there.  I admired DeDe’s remarkable ability to cut through chaos and calmly focus on the things that really mattered, such as making sure everyone understood exactly what they needed to do.  I thought I was ready to handle whatever happened, but I knew that if anything came up, DeDe would be able to advocate clearly, politely and insistently for my wishes, thus freeing up Darryl to focus on the baby and me.

Left – The moms: DeDe with Ryan, Sally Ghilarducci with Ben, and Cindy Martinez with Elio.  When my labor started, I was sure it was false labor.  I called Dave to let him know we were headed to the hospital but was certain we’d be sent home.  DeDe told me later that David knew just from the tone of my voice that I was really in labor, so she went straight to the hospital.  (David had delivered a few babies at Family Student Housing as a UCSC firefighter, and even resuscitated a newborn, saving its life).   DeDe helped me endure terrible back labor.  She was so steady, cheerfully reassuring and encouraging throughout, which kept me calm and able to focus on breathing.

Dave waited with Ryan in the lobby.  Thanks to an epidural, we were all laughing loudly between contractions; sharing jokes and stories with the doctor, and placing bets on what Elio would look like. Dave could hear the happy commotion outside the room and each time thought we were celebrating Elio’s arrival.  Poor Dave got up a number of times to enter the room, only to have to turn around each time it got suddenly quiet.  Afterward even the nurse remarked on what a fun delivery it was and said she was glad she’d gotten our room.  Looking back, it could have been awkward with that many people in the room, but we knew each other very well, and DeDe was so relaxed and good at sensing when she needed to step in and when to step back that it all worked out beautifully.

Left – Ryan, weighing with Dave at Sutter Hospital.  Dave was finally allowed in the room and DeDe asked him to weigh Ryan on the baby scale.  Ryan was three months old and weighed about 19 pounds, a big baby.  Another nurse popped in to ask for the scale and DeDe zeroed it out for her.  Right after she hit the button she mischievously remarked that she should have left it with that big number for the next mom to see!

She loved babies and was always so excited whenever she heard about anyone with a baby on the way.  Darryl and I were content with one child, but evidently DeDe thought we stopped too soon.  About two years ago she dashed off this email to me, which gave us both a good chuckle.

Hi Lucia,

Just a little note to tell you I had a dream last night that you were having a baby.  And I mean – having a baby!  I was shocked because I was at the hospital with you and I asked you when you decided to have another – 10 months had gone by and I didn’t know.  You said you just decided:).  I couldn’t believe it – but was thrilled to be there.

Dede started working with Nursing Mothers Counsel before Ryan was born and served as a volunteer counselor for a number of years.  She helped a lot of new mothers give their babies a strong start in life and I’m proud to count my son Elio and I among her many successes.  Nursing is a learning process for mothers and babies and I admit I really struggled with it.

Most of the time counseling occurs over the phone, with in-person visits reserved for moms who need more help.  DeDe, who was still apprenticing at the time, visited and called to check on me regularly after we got home from the hospital.  I was having difficulty nursing and wanted to give up, but DeDe would have none of that and brought her mentor over to help me.  Together they determined that Elio had slight jaundice (as DeDe had suspected) and needed to be kept warm and exposed to a little more natural light.  That worked, and I remember the two of us laughing afterward because I really thought Asian babies were supposed to be that dark.  DeDe was an excellent teacher – I was able to follow her advice perfectly, even in my sleep-deprived overly emotional state.   I’m thankful for the friendship DeDe and I shared and I’ll always hold their family close to my heart.

Thank you for sharing, Lucia.  I should note that Lucia’s help has been indispensable in the last month.  I’ve been hesitant to start calling people out for thanks because I haven’t had time to make a proper accounting of all who helped and I don’t want to leave anybody out, but Lucia really took a lot on.  Thank you Lucia.