I was just going through some photos tonight and found this one that Laura Perron took on July 1, 2011, in Bonaire. Pictured are Luke, Ryan and David Houghton, respectively. It’s hard to believe that picture was taken less than two months ago.
My wife and I decided to join friends in Tahoe and it was a refreshing break. I’m starting to get more energy back and I can concentrate better in the last few weeks. Taking the weekend off helps too. Still though, it hits me, as it did as we were driving back. It was the realization of what had happened and the overwhelming and profound sense of loss.
At the same time, they would have wanted us to be happy, so I’ve been making plans and getting energized for the future. I am optimistic and looking forward to the rest of my life. The family has taught me a lot about what’s important, and in that sense, they continue to have an impact on me.
Oh, what a wonderful photo!! Thank you for sharing, John. My son Shayne and I will carry Luke forever in our hearts — we will never forget. Your brother and his family will be an inspiration to us for always. Daily prayers to you and your loved ones, wishing you comfort and peace.
With an aching heart, I just realized the photo was taken only 3 days before the last time I saw them :’-( It was 4th of July evening, and David was pretty wiped out from the trip, but Luke was certainly full of energy! Dave and I watched our boys play some silly form of dodge ball while we exchanged stories about our lives. After a while, I fiddled with my phone while Dave laid back to rest on the gym floor. He was such a comfortable person to be with, and as blessed as I feel to have had that time with him, I’m incredibly sad to not have had the chance to get to know him better, and DeDe, too. Thanks for giving me a place to share this. <3
john,
thank you for continuing to post and maintain this site.
you and yours remain in my thoughts as you experience the different phases and elements of loss.
in addition to processing the many emotions, i know that there is a mountain of real-world processing needed to put their material world to rest.
your ability to feel your sadness and hold energy/optimism for your future is beautiful. it reminds me of a poem by rumi, a 13th century persian poet:
Birdwings
Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror
up to where you’re bravely working.
Expecting the worst, you look, and instead,
here’s the joyful face you’ve been wanting to see.
Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes.
if it were always a fist or always stretched open,
you would be paralyzed.
Your deepest presence is in every small contracting
and expanding,
The two as beautifully balanced and coordinated
as birdwings.
Thank you so much John for keeping so many wonderful blogs going on behalf of David and his beautiful family.
I finally got the courage up to go through the rest of my pictures in order to scan them and send them your way. (Which I will do here in just a minute…) Boy, there are many, many wonderful memories I have been so lucky to have shared with David. He was a very important part of my life for my college years at UCSC. My job took me away from Santa Cruz…and I can’t help but wonder the “what if’s” every now and then. It is clear that there was a reason for us not staying together those years ago…to meet his perfect match in DeDe and then having their perfect sons Luke and Ryan. I was THRILLED when he found me on FB just months before the sad day took them away from us. We even got to talk on the phone….boy, he sounded the same, full of life and energy he had so many years ago.
So, John, if you would like to share some of the pictures I send to you, please free to do so.
David…you are missed each and every day….
Connie it was nice reading about your times shared with David in college. I am guessing you never got the opportunity to meet DeDe, Luke and Ryan and that is unfortunate because you certainly would have been witness to the fire and love they each brought to each other. They were a wonderful family and the foursome was just that a foursome! The boys used to say when they grew up they were going to marry their Mom, and David so loved being considered one of DeDe’s boys. I too know what you mean about David being special, he was so caring, thoughtful and loving. He was talented, intelligent and wise beyond his schooling. DeDe was so blessed when he chose her to travel through life with, together they were individual or a team but always in each other and the boys moments. The exciting love of life they shared was a gift they have left with all of us through our memories. I hope that you will share some of your times with David and I hope in doing so you will keep his memory alive forever! May you find blessings in remembering and know how I appreciate you taking the time to share with us all! I hope John will share some of your photos! Thank you! Linda